Nurture

nur-ture [nur-chur] verb, 1. to feed and protect 2. to support and encourage, as during the period of development

The light came on inside my head about mothering one morning while I was trying to stay calm on the steering wheel driving at the maximum speed limit while was Clarisse screaming bloody murder at the back of the car during the whole trip. It's setting aside the task I'm doing at the moment, stop and listen and give what Clarisse needs. It is easy when her needs are physical in nature ~ feed, nappy change, rocking. The harder ones to tell are the times when she needs a hug or be reassured, in short be nurtured.

That day I asked my first time visiting father to sit with her at the back while I drove. The unfamiliarity of having someone sat beside her, coupled with her increasing irritability due to tiredness plus not being able to figure out where mommy is led her to cry and scream nonstop. I had to stop the car and get to the back seat when her cries were bordering on sheer terror. I found her with tear-striken face and eyes that tell me she's really frightened. I know I had to pick her up from her car seat and hold her, that my reassurances would be the only thing that would make things right for her. I understood right there and then what mothering is all about. Nurturing. Providing for the physical as well as emotional needs of another being.

When I had her, I was not sure I know how to be a mom. I would want to be the improved-version of my own mother but I don't know how. Now I understood better.

Sometimes it is so tempting to just plow ahead and try to finish the myriad of housework and errands that has been left for days than to ignore them and spend half an hour enjoying cooing with Clarisse. May God give me the grace and wisdom to know how to nurture His precious little one.