Books

Funny how I thought my children would naturally be drawn to books since I found them one of life's greatest joys. I thought they would be enchanted with the stories and would want to devour them whenever we went to the library. I was wrong, in a way. My eldest was exposed to books at a young age. After all, everywhere I go I encountered the mantra "read to your children a book each night." But her love of books didn't really took off until much later when she can read on her own, until reading became so much part of her schooling as teachers exposed her to different genres and themes. I was thrilled when I suddenly realized we were talking about books in one of our conversations! We were talking about Eric Carle's books, on how much she enjoyed them, discussing what the hungry caterpillar and the bad-tempered lady bug and the busy spider was about. Wow, I'd never thought. My second was so disinterested in books that I had at first given up. Looking back I think it was a combination of his lack of vocabulary, his preference for using his hands in an activity (all he could do with books is just to flip them, how boring is that??), and my lack of time in engaging him with a story. It's been almost half a year since he had been diagnosed with a language delay, we've made leaps and bounds with his vocabulary and I've just restarted reading books to him. I found that he actually enjoys the stories. I have made a conscious effort to pick stories that he would like, books that have concepts in conjunction with his speech goals set out by the clinician, and go to great lengths searching for those books, like what I would do to my school age child. I pray that he would one day overcome this speech impediment and grow to love reading. As for myself, I have found that my interests have now shifted from the historical based ones, the crime thrillers, the intense dramatic ones to the spiritual growth books. I still do read the former genres occasionally but somehow I found that they don't seem to 'fill me up.'. It's interesting to see how I had changed through books. These are some of the books my children and I had enjoyed so far: My school age child: Fancy Nancy, Flat Stanley, Zac Power, Ella and Olivia, Billie B Brown, Hey Jack My 3 year old enjoys those outrageous stories especially if the main character is a boy his age, lots of humor, anything with monsters in them, and also anything that is related to firemen. Myself: John Piper, Edward Bounds, and the like.

Post natal confinement: nothing but grief for me

The thing I dread and fear most after learning we are going to have a baby in 8 months time is the Chinese tradition of observing the month long postnatal confinement called 'ghe-lai' in our local Chinese dialect. I fear it more than going into labour without epidural. In general, I have nothing against the practice. I favour as the practice allows the new mom a time to recover from the birth and get the much needed help for a few weeks. However, there are some practices that I believe contradindicates modern medicine or modern, practical hygiene practices. The central stressor in this is my relationship with my mom, the person who administers the ghe-lai. I write this with a heavy heart as I need to write this to come to terms with my recent avoidable accident. I am not placing blame on anyone but pray for compassion and grace for people around me. My first experience with ghe-lai was like a battle of wills between my mother and I. She bravely conquered her fears of traveling alone into a foreign country by herself and speaking in a language she hardly used and armed with self-taught ghe lai to administer her first confinement. I, on the other hand, just had a baby and was facing a very steep learning curve of caring for a newborn with no one around to give practical helpful advice and living with the shock of amount of sleep I'm getting. We fought about the 16.6% alcoholic drink I am required to partake after each meal. She reasoned it is supposed to keep me warm, I refused to drink it because I am breastfeeding. I asked for some water and/or fiber in my diet as I easily get constipated, she stubbornly refused and said no one gets constipated in their ghe lai diet of strictly only protein meat and carbohydrates and the herbal drink. I am the only case she ever know who have problems with bowel movements. By the end of second week I was extremely constipated, deprived of sleep, and getting the brunt of her frustration. She was just lashing out at me with hurtful words day after day about my insolence on not strictly observing ghe lai and refused to listen to reason why I am disagreeing. I ended up calling my doctor because I haven't had a bowel movement for 2 weeks and was told to use the last resort, enema. We fought over little trivial things. The experience left me very bitter about our relationship. My second ghe lai, I smartened up a bit. I knew more and was able to manage my constipation - I had a liter of water hidden in my bedroom to be refilled each time she's out. My mother relaxed some of her rules like I'm allowed to have bran and milk, and I don't have to take the alcoholic drink anymore (she still tried to change my mind but didnt insist this time). My sister and brother lived with us and provided with support around the kitchen and shopping. But on her side, she is still overcoming the challenges of living away from home for so long and being in a different country where things are done differently. So when I asked her (nicely) not to provoke my eldest in an incident, she turned to that angry monster again that I encountered during my first ghe lai. She accuses me of being ungrateful most of all. When my third ghe lai is fast approaching, I prayed like I've never been before. I prayed for compassionate words from her, I prayed for myself to live out Christlike characteristics when she turned to this monster again. I brought every hurtful word uttered to Christ and I held my tongue back when I am hurt. Everything went well for us. I still have my secret stash of water in my room, she is less strict. She pretends she doesn't know I am drinking loads of water alongside her herbal drink, I wash my hands whenever I have to (after changing nappies, etc). I discovered a laxative that works well for me. Laxative and breastfeeding requires huge amount of water intake. Two days before the accident, Greg got extremely crossed at me for taking his cold water bottle out of the fridge and not refilling it for him on that extremely hot day (Australia was burning and record temperatures were being broken around the states). I was getting my stash of lukewarm refilled and used up Greg's cold water. I boiled more water and hurriedly poured it in a thick glass jar to be placed in the fridge for Greg. The jar burst and boiling water spilled onto my legs burning my skin. I immediately called my doctor friend, who by God's timing, was about to leave home for his shift in our local hospital. He gave first aid instructions while I waited for him to come see me, had me admitted into emergency, dressed my wounds, and promised to come around to redress them. I wish this accident didn't have to happen if my mother is more flexible . I cried a bucket of tears in the bathroom this morning as I wrote this. If my ghe lai regimen had been more flexible and adjusted to the needs of my body this shouldn't have had happen. I promised myself that I would listen to my children and be open to their needs rather than be stuck in my ways and not feel offended if I am being questioned. I need to possess Christlike humility in order to do this. I pray for this. My injuries left me bedridden, covered in dressing, and I wonder what kind of scars would surfaced. It left Greg with relentless child minding duties of 2 squabbling older siblings. It left my mom with more housework.

Dinner

Just came out of an insufferable dinner. How many of these do I have to endure. Not much I hope, maybe 3 a year on average.

Things I would love to do

If there is one thing I regret not doing in my younger years it would using those carefree days to bake and learn to bake some more.

It's not too late now, I know, but with so little time left in a day from running the household and looking after the kids, baking takes a lesser priority most of the time. Over the past 5 years, I've only manage to make few of my favorite sweet treats. I'm still looking for a good carrot cake recipe and still have to find and try baked cheesecake, chocolate mouse cake, chocolate mud cake. Now I'm getting hungry from all these talk.

I'd love to go on to one of those baking classes too to learn more. Maybe in my next trip to Manila I'd like to get into a heny sison class (far more cheaper compared to classes here and less formal).

*sigh* when will I have the freedom and time to do them?

Another item I would need to add to this list of things I wish I had the freedom and time to do would be to have a regular fitness activity. This is becoming a must to do for me. But it would need squeezing in between the children's schedule and my home management schedule.

Sometimes I envy those people who have only themselves to worry about (i.e., the singles and unattached). But then again, I'm sure they have something to envy about people like me too.

Would it be hilarious to watch grandma together with teenagers in a baking class for beginners?:)

Having books to read make me happy

(big grin) just want to list down unread books that I currently have and am happy that they're there waiting for me to read them :)

* the burning wire by Jeffery deaver. One of my favorite authors and this is his latest book.

* deliver us from evil by David baldacci.

* the rescue by Nicholas sparks. Don't know what the plot is but he usually writes the very emotionally intense romance novels. Sometimes when I feel that our world is such an impersonal and cold place, and that I'm becoming an unfeeling human being too, I'd read a book by Nicholas sparks to feel warmed up a bit.

* 8 books by John le carre. Trying him out since he is a well known author and seems to be getting a lot of positive reviews.

* a couple of books by Anita shreve. Trying her out as well. Don't know if I'll like her books.

* a couple of books by Daniel silva.

* complete set of Alex Delaware by Jonathan kellerman. Now these books are there in case I don't have anything else to read.

Currently, there's one book I'm eyeing for and hoping to add to this list .... Alone in Berlin by Hans fallada. Have to wait and see how i can get a copy.

Weaning

When we started breastfeeding, I never thought I'd be sad to be weaning. After all it would mean the start of the end of interrupted sleep at night. But now that he's started on solids, my breasts have started to become fuller with milk. I realise that it would mean my milk supply would start adjusting to the low demand, and by the time he'd be having three meals a day, there'll be less breastfeeding time. I guess I will miss these times of just holding him in my arms and watch him suckle and get contented with the nourishment he's receiving from the breasts. I never thought I'd get sentimental with breastfeeding but I guess what I've read about those feelings of precious bonding moments are true. There were times when I wish he's bottlefed as it gives me the flexibility of going around and doing the things I need to do without bringing him along with me to everywhere. Looking back, I would have told myself that it's only for a little while.

Two means double the fun

And double the work!

*sigh* I feel I cannot catch up with housework anymore. Our beds are unmade most of the time, my laundry basket for clean clothes seems to be always full and overflowing most of the time as it sits there waiting for me to iron them no matter how much time I try to put on them. I'm shedding heaps of hair and our floors need to be constantly vacuumed. And now I have to feed 2 kids instead of 1, bathe 2 instead of 1. Aahhh, the joys of motherhood.

Upside of these, I get to join bsf on Tuesday mornings. I've been wanting to join their bible study for a few years now but circumstances made it hard to. They have childminding now for under 2's and zach's an easier child (less attached to me) so I don't worry as much when I leave him with others. Another positive is I can send clar to school and pick her up too. It's a bit stressful but I am happy to be able to be staying at home and looking after the kids fulltime.

Breastfeeding is surprisingly successful and established. Thank God for that. Who would have thought I could even have the guts to breastfeed in public places. The support I received from the medical staff during the first week of Zach's birth was tremendously good as compared to Clar's. Maybe because Zach is a premmie.

Wouldn't it be nice if I could spend the next few years just looking after my 2 little ones and volunteering at church or school.