was it the way she looks at me when she's unsettled, frightened, or confused? saying "mommy you're the only one who could calm me down, please hug me" (ahh, the pride of being a mother)
was it the way she grins and shrieks at me across the room while we're each doing our own stuff, she playing, I tending to house chores? saying "mommy, you're number one!" (ahhh, complete adoration).
i'd like to believe i'm not that shallow to love another in exchange for dependency and adoration. they'd be long gone when her circle of human contact enlarges.
i can't place my finger on the how and when she captured my heart, maybe from our daily bonding, maybe from being together 24 hours a day, maybe from being her slave night and day (haha!) ... but i know i care deeply for her. i hurt when she's hurt (i cried inside when she cried from severe constipation), i'm happy when she's happy, i want her to be the best she could ever be and more.
i guess children come into our lives and melt our hearts and mold themselves right into our hearts and one day when they're all grown up living their own lives, they leave an imprint of themselves in us. making us parents forever in love with them.
1 comment:
Sarah!! I only try to imitate from the better writers (and thinkers) ... like you! ;) After reading your posts and a few from others, I realised I need to improve on my blog and minimise the 'blah-blah-blah' :)
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