Human warmth is more important than a hot meal

Commenting on this article Human warmth is more important than a hot meal

When I was pregnant and close to term with Clarisse, and not having a clue about child development, I thought I could easily leave her in day care centres and go back to work before she turned 1. I booked Clarisse into local day care centres before she was born thinking everybody is sending their young children to day cares and it does not seem too bad. And I was so impressed with the structured routines, the toys, playgrounds, and curriculum they got from age 0. And I thought it would be good for her socialising too! I've also seen mothers returning to work after 3 months, 6 months, or 9 months. And I know Phils only offers 1 or 2 months of maternity leave.

When Clarisse finally arrived and halfway through my maternity leave, I started reading up on child care centres. The author of the article is also the author of australia's most recommended baby book. Her book is sort of like a manual for new parents offering explanations and recommendations of babycare. I turned to the chapter on going back to work and child care centres as I started planning to go back to work. I remember Robin Barker is for mothers to stay back and look after their babies as long as possible - until 3 years of age because babies thrived in an environment where they know their main care giver and have a trusting relationship with them. If mothers have to go back to work she recommended close relatives such as grandparents. If using child care is the only option, parents should make sure the staff turnover rate is very low just so the child could develop a relationship with the carer. Barker also mentioned a few well know child psychologists who previously were advocates of long day cares but turned 180 after realising the quality of care offered in day care centres. So I alaso read up on Steven Biddulph's research and his recommendations.

Today I couldn't agree more. During age 10months-18months Clarisse was still very dependent on her carer for everything, including playtime. Her speech is not fully developed and requires her carer to understand her needs. At that age she also was able to distinguish who cares about her and who are the strangers. I cannot imagine placing her into the daycare at that age where everything is foreign to her and I doubt the assigned carer would spend much time with her as the staff ratios are 1 carer to 5 children under 2. This ratio I don't find comforting as it is asking a lot from an adult to care for 5 children under the age of 2 (It's like a mother at home with twins and triplets in 2 years!). I don't also find the big playground, the development programmes, excellent healthy food a draw or justification of why she should be put into the day care centre anymore for her age. God has been good to us in providing Tita Ah-kiaw as Clarisse's babysitter. Clarisse got all the 1 on 1 care that she would normally have when I stayed home. They developed a loving relationship (I can tell from they way they hug each other before they part at the end of the day that they enjoy each other's company).

The programmes in day care centres are actually great. But in my opinion they are better suited for older children, 2 years and above. I won't hesitate right now if I put Clarisse into one of these centres. I know at this age she likes playing with kids her age, climbing the cubby house, slides and ladders, playing with different toys and exploring "the world". At this age, she also has an understanding that mommy always come back to pick her up when I have to leave her with someone and can manage being away from me. She can also communicate hence other people can understand what her needs are.
Now that I understand child development better after having seen Clarisse grow up, I agree that it's the stable human relationship that is most important for young babies. Not the fancy stuff.